Seasons passed. Slowly the glorious robes of fall loosened and fell to the ankles of the majestic trees, and a piercing cold began to inhabit the wind. Overcast skies replaced the sunny days of before and Winter had come to take up its thrown. However, Winter without snow is an irritable, bleak thing, with all the pain and none of the beauty.
She stopped pondering at her window, and decided to pursue something other than love. If a husband and family were to be denied to her, her heart needed something or someone else into which to invest love into. Because as hard as she would try to deny it, God had made her to love, and love must be given. So she began to focus on the young people around her, children, teen and college students. And slowly, ever so slowly, gratitude began to sprout in her heart again.
To give her respite from the chill that was beginning to set in on her marrow, an invitation came to meet with other like-minded people in a tropical place not so far away. Excited at the change of pace, she collect a few cloths into one handheld bag, and set off on a new adventure. Adventure. How she love the thrill of new experiences, new people, new places. And this time she would face it alone. Until now there was always someone there to help, to buffer her from the problems that would inevitably arise on this new escapade. But this time, it would only be her wit and God's protection that would get her there and back again. After all this time, her last fear of singleness was being fought, and she would not back down.
Not without a few funny stories and some thankful prayers, she at last arrived at her destination. Those couple of weeks spend in the midst of God's family were a balm to her soul. More so than she ever could have anticipated. As she dwelt in God's word among His people, layer upon layer of dirt and filth began to fall from her spirit. Bitterness, cynicism, anger, undealt with grief were exposed. How she had lived so long without seeing them mystified her. At last, would healing come?
One fine day, the leader of the group suggested they pray for each other. And so the flood gates of desire opened as members asked for prayer for what lay on their heart. In the midst of it all, her friend stood up and said "I feel so alone." Without a thought, she clutched her long skirt in one had and ran across the room to plead with her Father on her friend's behalf. During that time, someone else announced another prayer request, but deep in prayer, she didn't hear it. When she returned to her former spot in the room she asked her roommate "What was said?" Her friend replied that someone requested they pray for the singles. Realizing that everyone around her was a single woman, she exclaimed, "What are we waiting for?" and fell to her knees and began to pray. In the midst of that circle of comfort, she, like another famous woman of old, began to pour out her heart with tears and much agony of spirit. For someone who was very careful to reveal how she felt, the degree of vulnerability was unlike anything she had ever experienced.
When she stood, she knew she was free. The tears had washed and cleansed her spirit, and no matter what the response would be, she knew her Father had heard her prayer. It was time to rest.
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